Sometimes
I've thought I “knew” what God was doing, leading me to places,
meeting certain people, etc.
But
the longer I live, the more I realize how little I really understand
what He is doing in and through my life.
Yet,
as the old hymn “Be Still My Soul” says, “in every change, He
faithful will remain.”
_________________
There
is an important principle in the Bible – God's ways are often
opposite
our own thinking, and what we think is best.
The
way up is usually down.
“The
apostles got into an argument about which one of them was the
greatest. And he said unto them, The kings of the Gentiles exercise
lordship over them; and they that exercise authority upon them are
called benefactors. But ye shall
not
be
so:
but he that is greatest among you, let him be as the younger; and he
that is chief, as he that doth serve.”
~ Luke 22:24-26
The
way forward is back.
“Thus
saith the LORD, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old
paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find
rest for your souls.” ~ Jeremiah 6:16
The
way to begin to live is to first die.
Verily,
verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground
and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much
fruit.
~ John 12:24
Not
striving enables God to work.
And
Moses said unto the people, Fear ye not, stand still, and see the
salvation of the LORD, which he will shew to you to day: for the
Egyptians whom ye have seen to day, ye shall see them again no more
for ever.
~ Exodus 14:13
Weakness
usually means God can use you.
And
he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is
made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory
in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
~ II Corinthians 12:9
Loss
is gain.
“Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but rubbish, that I may win Christ,” ~ Philippians 3:8
Give
to receive.
Give,
and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and
shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom.
For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to
you again.
~ Luke 6:38
If
you don't see how,
believe by faith He
sees.
(For
we walk by faith, not by sight:)
~ II Corinthians 5:7
Trust
in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean
not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge [know Him intimately] him, and he shall
direct thy paths.
~ Proverbs 3:5-6
___________________
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| Amaryllis Trilogy - Hope Springs Eternal, 24 x 48 acrylic on Canvas by Elise, April 2019 |
Proverbs
18:12 puts it this way, “Before
destruction the heart of man is haughty, and before honour is
humility.”
Taking
Recent Opportunities and Experiencing Rejection
In March I visited NYC. I had two main purposes: One was to attend a meeting, the other was to try to find an art gallery to help market my paintings.
I stayed five days, and was preparing to leave the city early the next morning when, at 7 PM, I received a phone call from a friend I'd met in January at a Bible Study. She said, “Elise, my husband and I would like to house you for the next nine days, so you can stay in the city until your next bus leaves.” (I buy tickets far in advance, not knowing my schedule or where I can stay at the time of purchase.)
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| Hosta and Allium! |
This extension of my March trip enabled me to attend a prayer gathering at an Art Gallery. I received a very warm welcome, and after showing some of my greeting card portfolio, I was very surprised to then be invited by the Gallery owner to participate in a Botanical Exhibition later this year, in September, at the Gallery.
"You don't paint contemporary work at all, I know hundreds of artists who can paint like you, so I want to make it clear, I liked your testimony, and I want to support you.”
Mainly, I didn't think my work fit the style of their contemporary Gallery. But I was appreciative for any help given.
After arriving home from NYC in March, I needed mat board and foam core to frame some works for a local Gallery exhibit. My sister helped me get to the shop to obtain these, and while in the store, I noticed canvas was on a 70%-off sale, the lowest prices of the year.
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| Blue Hydrangea found on someone's entry steps - so pretty! |
I'd been thinking about a reference photo of some forced Amaryllis bulbs I'd taken at Christmastime. I felt they would make an excellent first Botanical painting, and I'd been imagining how the finished painting would look, larger than life.
I found the perfect size canvas for this painting – 24 x 48 inches – it matched the size in my imagination, and bought it.
That day I spent all the money I had on me on mat board and canvas. I was pretty penniless, having only my $100 "savings", but I was confident God would provide.
Time was tight, I had plans to travel back to NYC in early May. I managed to frame my watercolors, and then began painting the white Amaryllis on canvas.
Because I'm very sensitive to chemical fumes, I borrowed a large heavy easel from dear artist friends, and painted outside in around 50-degree weather, standing for hours at a stretch, “dressed for bear” in a coat, hat, neck-warmer, smock, and gloves.
Painting flowers in acrylic is challenging, especially white-on-white petals! But I really enjoyed it. I listened to beautiful old hymns while I painted and went to bed happy.
I took a break for Resurrection Day, going to see my family. It was helpful to the piece, to paint again after spending a few days away.
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| Amaryllis Trilogy, Hope Springs Eternal - before any varnish! |
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| This was the Veggie Print on Canvas after the semi-gloss varnish - it looked great! |
It was a shock, to “give birth” to a large new work, feel satisfied with my effort, and then see it “die” by my own hand and varnish decision!
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| Amaryllis Trilogy, Hope Springs Eternal - after semi-matte varnish |
A small original watercolor sold at the end of April, and this sale enabled me to travel once more.
I had under $200 in my pocket when I returned to NYC in early May, carrying the large unframed canvas as well as a box of my best watercolors onto the bus with me.
"Where there is a will, there is a way” and thankfully God has given me a lot of determination and mental fortitude.
There was Hope for my new painting, too.
I had spoken to a Varnish Tech on the phone, and he thought if I applied a coat of Gloss over the semi-gloss, the new varnish would reactivate the undercoat, and bring the painting to life again!
I bought Gloss varnish the very day I arrived in NYC, but waited for sunny weather to re-varnish. And my painting did come to life again! I was SO very pleased and grateful to see a great deal more of the background colors once more.
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| Amaryllis Trilogy - Hope Springs Eternal, 24 x 48 Acrylic on Canvas, by Elise, 2019 |
That week was full of changes, as I sojourned – staying the first five nights with one friend, then due to unexpected and stressful “drama” at a couple locations, changed where I slept the next Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and then moved again with all my heavy luggage on Friday.
Amid these moves, on Wednesday I went to see two Galleries. The one where I'd been invited into the Botanical Exhibit had said they needed to see my work and approve it – hence my feeling of pressure, to get a piece done in time to bring it along!
But the Gallery owner didn't like my Amaryllis acrylic at all!
I was told my watercolors were much stronger, but even so, they didn't feel they wanted to help me market my work at all.
I was told there was a lot of ME in the work, but God wasn't seen in my pieces. “You talk a lot about God, but I don't see Him in your work.”
I was also told I should not be making my living as a visual artist.
I was told I need to return to my first love (God) and RECEIVE.
This is good advice, and I agree. I have been busy like biblical “Martha” and I know I need to spend more quality time listening to His voice.
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| I found a lot of flowering trees while walking and could tell where I was based on their beauty |
Rejection is Really Good Direction
Artists in any field usually experience a LOT of rejection. I try to see each closed door as a way of learning God's direction.
Open doors often follow closed ones, but I have to respond rightly and maintain hope and faith. It's always darkest before the dawn.
There was the question of trust and getting by on a thread, too.
"I know You have a plan, Father, even when I don't,” I tell Him often.
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| Tali Roth, Classical Guitar Mother's Day Concert, May 12, 2019 |
Contentment
I was thankful to be able to attend several Bible Studies, church services, and prayer meetings where I fellowship in the city.
The first Bible Study on Friday morning had an “ice-breaker” question: “How do you define Contentment?”
The best definition I've learned of this character quality is, “Knowing God has provided everything I need for my present happiness.”
The next day, in the afternoon, I bought some needed groceries, and after eating dinner, was washing the dishes. My finances came to mind. I had one hundred dollars and some change to my name, and there was a week to live through until my bus left for Vermont.
I was tempted to worry, but instead I internally decided to trust God.
Instantly, following my heart's decision, the Holy Spirit brought Philippians 4:11b-13 to mind!
“...for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
I
know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and
in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both
to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."
There
was peace in this message, for I knew God saw me.
Then
Sunday morning I heard the sermon – it was on not worrying!
Three
days later, on Wednesday - the same day I was rejected by the
Contemporary Gallery - I received three unexpected separate financial
donations.
Gifts
totaling $530!
This
stunned me. “Why are people suddenly giving me money?” I asked my
Bible Study leader's wife. Despite my sometimes lackadaisical seeking
Him, He was faithful to provide for me.
God's
provision, amid the uncertainty of the week with changing housing and
the rejection of both my work and the evidence of my assumed
relationship with God, was comforting.
I
attended a Bible Study on Job that week, which focused on Suffering
and how suffering often helps us learn to trust God's sovereign hand
more.
Then,
the next Sunday's sermon was about how God led the Israelites into
the wilderness to teach them to trust God for food and drink on a
daily
basis!
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| Dogwood Blooming mightily! |
Being
an Instrument of His Peace
Throughout
my most recent time in NYC, I was glad to share what I've learned
about emotional healing and did three biofield tuning sessions for
three friends.
One woman has been calling every day since I came
home, telling me her life is profoundly
different – and her friends are even asking what has happened,
she's changed so noticibly!
I praise God, for it is His
design,
to give the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness!
I
am also so pleased to help organize having another friend, who is
exhausted from care-giving for both of her parents for many years, be
able to come to Vermont to have a greatly needed physical rest.
I
feel I was sent to NYC for other more important reasons than finding
an art gallery. I'm happy to have my new Amaryllis looking “glorious”
again.
As usual, my paintings are simply a tool which teach me truths
and often lead to making connections with other people.
People
who have real needs I can help meet.
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| An Orange Tulip Bed |
Back to Rejection
Rejection
is known as “the deepest wound.”
Silence
is a form of rejection, but rejection can come verbally, through
actions and real or perceived attitudes.
People
who have been rejected usually reject others, if their rejection
issues have not healed.
I've
learned that sometimes people just need your presence. If I pull away
from all those who are struggling to heal old wounds, they will never
learn how to live in acceptance and receive Love.
Ultimately,
I know God accepts me, and loves me. I can (and have) experience a
lot of rejection from others if I know our Father in heaven accepts
me!
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| Flowers in a Community Garden |
Job's
“Friends”
Job's
Friends came and told Job they didn't see his relationship with God,
and they suggested he must have sinned greatly, to be under such
judgement, to have lost his entire family, all his possessions and be
in dire straits with his physical health. They urged him to repent.
Job
replies in chapter 12:2: “No
doubt but ye are
the
people, and wisdom shall die with you.” I think he's being very
sarcastic here. They weren't listening to him at all. They just
judged him, harshly and wrongly.
I
remember the summer I turned forty, and was grieving over not having
had children. I was in Michigan visiting a friend, and teaching an
art class at the time. One mother saw my grief, and instead of being
the least bit sympathetic, came and stood in front of me, “You are
either not a Christian, or you lack faith,” she proclaimed.
This
may have been true. I did lack faith. I was suffering from exhaustion
and had just moved out of a location I loved.
I
asked her, “Are these your children?” She had ten
children, who surrounded her. “Yes!” she said happily. The spirit
of Penninah is alive and well. Yet I didn't respond all that well to
her exhortation to have more faith.
My
mouth opened and out came a statement I didn't think up ahead of
time, it just came out, “You remind me of Job's friends!”
She
didn't know what to say next. I felt somewhat better for some reason.
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| White Dogwood blooming near Columbia University |
Simply Trusting
I
like what John Newton (the man who wrote the hymn Amazing
Grace)
once said, "Everything
is necessary that God sends our way; nothing can be necessary that he
withholds."
When
I really trust our Father with every desire, every turn of events, it
makes it much easier to accept
what is.
As
I often tell my niece, “God makes no mistakes.”
Acceptance
of Rejection and Trusting the Sovereign Hand of God – whether it's
rejection surrounding a Jury process, a Gallery exhibit, people's
opinions, or even rejection by people you want to get to know –
makes it all okay.
And
coming to Self-Acceptance
is very powerful, too.
I'm
still waiting and looking for open doors. Art is one way to
communicate His beauty and peace with others.
The
second Art Gallery I visited liked my NYC street scenes a lot, so
maybe there will be some movement and an exhibit to come.
I
recently posted my four NYC street scenes on a Facebook Group,
“Realistic Watercolors.” Nearly 250 people have liked these
pieces in the past two days, so I guess some people do
appreciate detail and paintings which clearly communicate specific
messages.
It
hurts to be told someone doesn't see God in my work, for this is what
has been noticed in the past – there was Light in my
paintings. I've asked our Father to forgive me for not listening
more, and receiving before I paint. All this art marketing is really
quite pointless if God is not in and behind it.
I
also realize this is ONE opinion. Sometimes people give or project
the very advice they most need to take themselves.
And
I'm beginning to understand why
many New Yorker's like minimalist art and colorful, contemporary
canvases, more blank in direct message...it's due to the amount of
exhaustion and detail in their work lives! New York is teaming with
noise, people, meetings and small details. So, it makes a lot of
sense that such a population would enjoy having just color on their
wall, for color heals!
I
like learning and knowing a bit of why
things
are - why people act or feel as they do!
And
I remain, your artist and sojourning-friend,
with
Hope, Faith and Love,
Elise
"Have
none of you ever noticed, in your own lives, that whenever God is
going to give you an enlargement, and bring you out to a larger
sphere of service, or a higher platform of spiritual life, you always
get thrown down? That is His usual way of working; He makes you
hungry before He feeds you; He strips you before He robes you; He
makes nothing of you before He makes something of you.
"This
was the way with David. He is to be king in Jerusalem; but he must go
to the throne by the way of the cave. Now, are any of you here going
to heaven, or going to a more heavenly state of sanctification, or
going to a greater sphere of usefulness? Do not wonder if you go by
the way of the cave. Why is that?
"It
is, first, because if God would make you greatly useful, He must
teach you how to pray. If
you can be great without prayer, your greatness will be your ruin.
If God means to bless you greatly, He will make you pray greatly, as
He does David who says in this part of his preparation for coming to
his throne, 'I cried unto the LORD with my voice; with my voice unto
the LORD did I make my supplication. (Psalm 142:1)'”
~
Charles Haddon Spurgeon
Twelve Sermons on Prayer
Twelve Sermons on Prayer
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| I didn't seem to have much free time this trip, but these flowers were on the very edge of Central Park |
For
ye see your calling, brethren,
how that not many wise men after the
flesh,
not many mighty, not many noble, are called:
But God hath
chosen the foolish things of the world
to confound the wise;
and God
hath chosen the weak things of the world
to confound the things which
are mighty;
And base things of the world,
and things which are
despised,
hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not,
to bring to
nought things that are:
That no flesh should glory in his
presence.
~
I Corinthians 1:26-29
O
bless our God, ye people, and make the voice of his praise to be
heard:
Which
holdeth our soul in life, and suffereth not our feet to be moved.
For
thou, O God, hast proved us: thou hast tried us, as silver is tried.
we went through fire and
through water:
but thou broughtest us out into a wealthy place.
~
Psalm 66:8-12
Behold,
I go forward, but he is not there; and backward, but I cannot
perceive him: On the left hand, where he doth work, but I cannot
behold him: he hideth himself on the right hand, that I cannot see
him: But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me,
I shall come forth as gold. My foot hath held his steps, his way
have I kept, and not declined. Neither
have I gone back from the commandment of his lips; I have esteemed
the words of his mouth more than my necessary food. But he is in
one mind, and who can turn him? and what his soul desireth, even that
he doeth. For he performeth the thing that is appointed for me:
and many such things are with him. ~
Job 23:8-14
Though
he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own
ways before him.
~
Job 13:15
Be
still my soul the Lord is on thy side
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain
Leave to thy God to order and provide
In every change He faithful will remain
Be still my soul thy best, thy heavenly friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain
Leave to thy God to order and provide
In every change He faithful will remain
Be still my soul thy best, thy heavenly friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end
Be
still my soul when dearest friends depart
And all is darkened in the vale of tears
Then shalt thou better know His love His heart
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears
Be still my soul the waves and winds shall know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below
And all is darkened in the vale of tears
Then shalt thou better know His love His heart
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears
Be still my soul the waves and winds shall know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below
Be
still my soul the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord
When disappointment grief and fear are gone
Sorrow forgot love's purest joys restored
Be still my soul when change and tears are past
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last
Be still my soul: begin the song of praise
On earth, believing, to Thy Lord on high;
Acknowledge Him in all thy words and ways,
So shall He view thee with a well-pleased eye.
Be still, my soul: the Sun of life divine
Through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine,
translated by Jane Borthwick, circa 1855.
When we shall be forever with the Lord
When disappointment grief and fear are gone
Sorrow forgot love's purest joys restored
Be still my soul when change and tears are past
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last
Be still my soul: begin the song of praise
On earth, believing, to Thy Lord on high;
Acknowledge Him in all thy words and ways,
So shall He view thee with a well-pleased eye.
Be still, my soul: the Sun of life divine
Through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine,
~ Katharina von Schlegel, circa 1752,
translated by Jane Borthwick, circa 1855.
