The Gift of Presence

“Aunt Elise, I’ll make a deal with you.”

I’d been trying to coax my six-year-old niece to do her online writing assessment and the rest of her schoolwork for at least a half-hour, without any movement in this direction.

You cannot force a child to focus, think or study, all I felt I could do was try to help her projects become more fun and interesting…

She wants to play, not focus on a computer screen.

“Okay, what’s your deal?” I respond to her.

“If you will help me with two jigsaw puzzles, I will do two school assignments. But you have to do these two puzzles with me.”

“Okay,” I say, “it’s a deal.”

“Two projects is better than nothing,” I say to myself.

I’m not sure where she gets this “making a deal”, as I haven’t heard her mother or sister speak of “deals”.

I sit down on the floor and we begin immediately to put together her alphabet puzzle.

“We’re not going to put it together the way we usually do,” she instructs, “we are going to put it together from the beginning to the end, A, B, C…”

“Okay, good idea,” I agree.

We start out by finding the “A” puzzle piece, the top left corner of her colorful jigsaw puzzle. Continuing on, we look for letters, stopping to run through the alphabet to see what letter comes next.

She is learning without stressing.

When we can’t find the right letter piece, I tell her to look for matching colors.

We finish the first puzzle and move on to the next, a farm scene with many domestic animals.

After her two puzzles are both completed, I tell her she now needs to do some of her teacher’s assigned work with me.

There is silence. She still doesn’t want to fulfill her end of the proposed “deal”.

I find a “Word Sort”, which I know she likes, and start to cut out the small black and white pictures at the bottom of the sheet, to glue below the vowel sounds “a, e, i, o and u” at the top of the page.

She likes scissors and also enjoys matching pictures with sounds, so she takes the scissors out of my hand and begins to cut the pictures herself.

Finally she engages, overcoming inertia!

We initially think one picture is an “Apple”, to be glued under the “a” column…but there were too many in this column to fit.

I say, “maybe the picture really is a Peach”.

Finally, I realize it must be a “Plum”.

I emphasize the “u” sound. She puts the slip of paper with the Plum line drawing on it under the “u” column.

Now we have three pictures neatly glued under each vowel.

We do another writing project online, and then move on to Art, her favorite subject!

A Fish Bowl with fish inside is the assigned project.

I draw and color two fish bowls, one with crayons and one with markers, while she does one with markers…we each have a pleasant time, coloring together.

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My older niece is in her last year of Middle School, eighth grade. She is also doing school at home this year.

Very popular and outgoing, studying all by herself in her room gets old.

"Aunt Elise!” She calls down the stairs at 8 PM. “I need help with my homework!”

“Okay, I am coming,” I say.

Mostly, she just wants company, quality time

Once in awhile I give her my opinion or tell her I think she’s not thought through a question correctly.

I sit next to her as the hours pass. She reads and writes and submits assignments. I have to squint hard and duck my head to read her computer screen.

It gets late and I’m tired of sitting on a hard chair. “Do you still need me?” I ask her at 10 PM.

“Yes!”

I stay with her until she is satisfied she has completed enough of her science and math projects…this is probably what Aunts are for!

____________

Children need the full attention of someone who loves them.

They desire and need, as everyone does, the gift of presence.

I once heard a very kind lady, therapist Kim Barthel, speak on an online webinar  on how every child needs a “gleaming and beaming parent” so when a child gets up from a nap at two years old, and toddles into the room, his mother gives that child her full attention:

“It’s so nice to see you, did you have a good nap?”

This positive attention gives the little child joy, and a corresponding Dopamine and Serotonin hormone release in the brain, which sets a foundation for healthy patterns in this child’s future development.

Children are designed to gain positive hormones through relationship with people (not screens or sugar) – healthy attachment with their loving parents and other family members.

If the parent is anxious, stressed or absent, the child will begin to look for other ways to gain a positive hormone release.

This is how children first go toward addiction patterns. They are trying to meet their own emotional needs. This knowledge gave me great compassion for those struggling with addiction. They are often those who have felt unloved as a child.

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Paraclete is the Greek word for “Holy Spirit” which means “to come alongside, to help”.

There is peace and rest in the presence of God for the righteous.

Since losing my previous housing due to my elderly host’s fear I would somehow expose her to a virus, although I went almost nowhere around people, I have enjoyed being with my nieces through October and November.

Many times my need has led me to go in a direction I really wouldn’t choose to go otherwise, had I another option…

This has recently been a place of receiving help.

In the midst of this strange year, my sister took me in and gave me special time with my two nieces.

I can see God’s wisdom in this, for she is busy working long hours during the daytime. Normal school has been disrupted by the virus lockdown.

________________________

Then in early December I moved east to see if I would be a suitable companion for an 87-year-old Vermonter, whose relatives are all too busy to care for her. I was contacted and told she needed a live-in companion and cooking/cleaning help this winter. No payment was involved, but it meant a room and some time to create.

Things were ‘iffy’ from the start of this very real “trial” period - as a baby monitor woke me three times the first night registering her coughs and 5 AM alarm! I had agreed to be a companion to a woman who still drives herself to appointments, not a 24-hour overnight care-giver. 

She felt I was "weird" for being unable to eat her MSG-laced canned food. MSG, an artificial flavor enhancer, is a known neuro-toxin! After changing her mind twice, I was finally told she does not desire my presence this winter. That is fine, not everyone is compatible and I was glad to go. The scale registered I had lost five pounds in two weeks!

God desires the elderly and widows to be visited. I was willing to try and live out, “Let your gentle spirit [your graciousness, unselfishness, mercy, tolerance, and patience] be known to all people. The Lord is near.” ~ Philippians 4:5 

There seems to be a real reason for the Word of God instructing people to care for the elderly in their own families! I've never understood I Timothy 5:3-10 before in quite the same way. 

Many others love and desire my presence and it's healthier to be in a place where you are wanted and not "under a microscope".

This is a reminder to me that we can all reject the presence of others. 

We can also reject God’s Holy Spirit.

Uncertainty and financial need have colored my life, far before the COVID-19 lockdown affected it. Many times of real uncertainty as a fatherless child have driven me to seek God’s face!

I have found His Spirit is there to help, comfort and save me.

And so, I am not anxious. I am at peace, whatever happens in 2021.

______________

So many around the world have lost their job, profession, career, travel plans, housing, business, restaurant, investments and/or savings this year…

According to a recent statistic I heard, 82% of Americans cannot afford a $500 emergency.

Many are suffering ill health, relationship woes, depression, anxiety, bankruptcy, foreclosures and homelessness.

Others are benefiting from the needs arising from crisis.

As we go toward the Christmas Holiday, I have been able to purchase very few gifts.

I will be giving simply the gift of Presence to my dear family and am grateful to have them in my life.

______________

Years ago, I remember feeling quite alone - despite then living with my family.

I was under pressure to re-negotiate payment for an illustration commission. I had been given a firm printing deadline, on very short notice, and there was no extra time to think of financial aspects if I were to get the requested five detailed Camel paintings completed in time.

My family, who had always given me their emotional support, felt I was being financially taken advantage of (they were correct, but painting to me meant meeting needs - it's not as much about the money for me), and had withdrawn their support from this painting commission.

The Word of God came suddenly to mind as I sat at my painting desk, grieving.

“I will not leave you comfortless, I will come to you” (John 14:18).

The calm, steady presence of God’s Holy Spirit came alongside and comforted me.

He was there for me. I was not alone.

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Late one Christmas Eve, a very long time ago, I entered a shop to buy one last string of little white lights, to decorate a bough inside our home…

As I got to the check-out, the man in line in front of me slung a six-pack of beer on the shop counter.

I could tell from his demeanor he was not looking forward to Christmas.

It seemed he would be alone for the holiday, drinking beer by himself.

I felt very sad for him.

I have never forgotten this lonely man, and the despair he projected, on Christmas Eve, I cry about it now as I write.

If you are alone this Christmas, I encourage you to ask God’s Spirit to comfort you. Then try to go be a blessing to someone else!

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My young Jamaican friend, Andrew, wrote me last week, saying he was entering his final exam week for his first year in seminary.

He says he sometimes feels God is punishing him, because of the poverty and lack of opportunity to even find work in his country. The internet connection there is also bad. He wants to help his family come out of poverty and also help others.

It’s been a hard last few months for his country.

For weeks a hurricane swirled over the island, refusing to move on, creating torrents of rain on a daily basis, which didn’t allow anyone to leave their homes, ruining roads and some houses.

Concrete walls were weeping from the sopping-wet ground-water level…

Andrew has lived in a third-world country his entire life. He has relatives in the United States and he knows many live a more comfortable life.

I wrote back encouraging him to be grateful for the blessings he does have – two parents who love and support him, telling him many people suffer poverty and hardship here, too.

We all have a choice in difficult circumstances, when our hopes and dreams come “crashing down”…

We can give up, or choose to go on as best we can, allowing our sorrows and struggles to build our character and instill more creativity, more determination to do our best to live rightly before the face of Yah, our Creator.

It is usually darkest before the dawn breaks.

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Some living in poverty have loving parents or children. Others have no physical family at all.

It is the fatherless and widow, the stranger (or immigrant­) and poor (ill, disadvantaged­) who most need encouragement and someone’s kind presence at this dark time of year.

People who have lost loved ones also need the gift of presence. Words often need not be spoken to encourage someone else. Just be there for them, physically. Or pick up the phone and call someone.

Somehow there is a blessing which comes in the midst of loss and sorrow.

God cares and loves us. His Spirit is very near!

Look for this blessing. Wait for it. Praise God for it!

I wish you all the comforting

Help

and

Presence

of the Living God

this Christmas Season -

for Christ came to us lowly,

tiny, poor – to make us very rich!

No one can take those riches away!!!

=)

=)

May you Accept and Receive your place in His Family and Body,

by Faith in Y’Shua the Messiah, Jesus the Christ.

His Table is one of Love and Communion!

His Great Gift is Emmanuel

– God with us!

Warmly and with Gratitude for all my Friends world-wide,

Elise - aka “Queen of the Make Do”

Elise at Painting Glory - YouTube to hear my Cover of John McDermott's Suo Gan 

Suo Gan

Holy Saviour, yet so tiny,
Mighty Ruler, yet so small.
Infant lowly, born so humbly,
Yet Redeemer of us all.
Now the angels sing to greet thee,
God is with us, here on earth.
With the shepherds and the wise men,
Come to see his holy birth

Holy Jesus in a manger,
Little Baby in a stall,
Infant Holy, God's Messiah,
Born to suffer for us all;
Angels bending o'er the cradle,
God's Anointed from on high,
Blessed Mary watches o'er you
Singing sweetly "lullaby".

Blessed Mary watches o'er you
Singing sweetly lullaby".

~ John Mcdermott,

(who, I believe, translated this from the original

Welsh lullaby of unknown origin)

“And she brought forth her firstborn son,

and wrapped him in swaddling clothes,

and laid him in a manger;

because there was no room for them in the inn.”

~ Luke 2:7

“Is not this the fast that I have chosen? 

to loose the bands of wickedness, 

to undo the heavy burdens, 

and to let the oppressed go free, 

and that ye break every yoke?

Is it not to deal thy bread to the hungry, 

and that thou bring the poor that are cast out to thy house? 

when thou seest the naked, that thou cover him; 

and that thou hide not thyself from thine own flesh?

Then shall thy light break forth as the morning, 

and thine health shall spring forth speedily: 

and thy righteousness shall go before thee; 

the glory of the Lord shall be thy reward.” 

~ Isaiah 58:6-8

“For he is our peace, who hath made both one,

and hath broken down the middle wall of partition between us;”

~ Ephesians 2:14

And he said, My presence shall go with thee, and I will give thee rest.

And he said unto him, If thy presence go not with me, carry us not up hence.

For wherein shall it be known here that I and thy people have found grace in thy sight? 

is it not in that thou goest with us? 

so shall we be separated, I and thy people,

 from all the people that are upon the face of the earth.

And the Lord said unto Moses, I will do this thing also that thou hast spoken: 

for thou hast found grace in my sight, and I know thee by name.

~ Exodus 3314-17

“Thou wilt shew me the path of life: 

in thy presence is fullness of joy;

at thy right hand there are pleasure for evermore.”

~ Psalm 16:11

“Cast me not away from thy presence; 

and take not thy holy spirit from me”

~ Psalm 51:1

“Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence? 

If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. 

If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; 

Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me. 

If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me. 

Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: 

the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.”

~ Psalm 139:7-12

Hebrews Chapter 4:

“Let us therefore fear, lest, a promise being left us of entering into his rest, 

of you should seem to come short of it.

For unto us was the gospel preached, as well as unto them: 

but the word preached did not profit them, not being mixed with faith in them that heard it.

For we which have believed do enter into rest, as he said, 

As I have sworn in my wrath, if they shall enter into my rest: 

although the works were finished from the foundation of the world.

For he spake in a certain place of the seventh day on this wise, 

And God did rest the seventh day from all his works.

And in this place again, If they shall enter into my rest.

Seeing therefore it remaineth that some must enter therein, 

and they to whom it was first preached entered not in because of unbelief:

Again, he limiteth a certain day, saying in David, 

To day, after so long a time; 

as it is said, To day if ye will hear his voice, harden not your hearts.

For if Jesus had given them rest, then would he not afterward have spoken of another day.

There remaineth therefore a rest to the people of God.

For he that is entered into his rest, 

he also hath ceased from his own works, 

as God did from his.

Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest, 

lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief.

For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two edged sword,

 piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, 

and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

Neither is there any creature that is not manifest in his sight: 

but all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do.

Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, 

Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession.

For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities;

 but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.

Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, 

that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.”

“Surely the righteous shall give thanks unto thy name:

the upright shall dwell in thy presence.”

~ Psalm 140:13