I once heard an artist say he had to "marry" his idea for a potential painting.
It's different from a relationship with a person, but I understood exactly what he meant.
I can count on one hand the number of unfinished paintings I started, but never completed.
There is no half-way - it's either all or nothing.
A committed nature applies outside of painting, too - it may take me a while to decide, but once committed I am there, for the long haul.
I am not a quitter. You cannot finish if you quit...but that doesn't mean I don't feel the temptation to do so.
Twice in my life I entered road races, and finished them walking, coming in second-to-last.
Looking back, I now realize I was trying to race with pinched nerves in my neck, mid and low back...no wonder my body didn't want to keep pounding the pavement.
But the point is, I finished.
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| Night Draws Nigh, 16.5 x 21.5 (41.91 x 54.61 cm) watercolor by Elise, 2020 |
The Mental Part Behind Big Challenges
Each time, an artist begins with a blank sheet of paper...and the journey of finishing is, to a large degree, unknown.
How long the piece will take to complete is yet to be determined, as in our lives.
How can we know ahead of time there will be a "good" ending?
What if we make wrong decisions, will they be fixable?
There are usually unexpected challenges and distractions arising either within the work, or outside my studio.
Especially when you attempt to paint big, photographic realism.
This watercolor REALLY tested me. It was difficult to complete.
I felt like quitting half-way through.
I thought about "retiring".
I asked God if I could please have a different job in life. Not that I don't enjoy painting, most times, but the seclusion and keeping on top of the financial part of the job were wearing on me.
I felt I'd lost my "Why" for starting this thing in the first place.
The reference photo was taken in March 2019 during my three-week trip to NYC, just one year before the current lockdown for the novel corona virus began.
It WAS a painting then, in my mind, but wishful thinking and good intentions don't create masterful works of art...
Only diligence and patient, careful focus over many weeks and months can make an idea become a reality, in the world of watercolor realism.
There are few shortcuts.
Each stroke, every tint of every thin glaze matters.
Thousands of tiny physical strokes and touches, and as many mental decisions, make the final painting what it becomes.
In life, we are putting a similar mixture of "colors" into our character, on a daily basis.
What will we look like when our final day on earth comes?
Will we be strong and courageous? Generous and grateful?
Will we finish the long race of life well?
Will we look for the "silver lining" to the storm clouds and trust our Father in heaven really IS working all things together for our good, even when tragic losses come?
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| Detail, left bottom |
It's Always Easier to Start Than Finish
This piece was begun on January 10th, after I had sort of recovered from a unusual bad cough and chest cold.
I was tired but enthused to imagine the beauty and strength of the finished painting in my mind, before I began to paint.
I did have Hope and set out with vigor to take on this challenge.
I painted hard for three weeks, with lots to look forward to and then went on a needed "eye break" trip.
Optimistically, I figured I was "half-done" with the piece, at 39 hours. Due to my strained vision, I cannot paint eight hours a day anymore, I have to be very careful to give my eyes enough rest.
After a five-week different kind of work interlude, I arrived home in early March.
I tried to quickly paint a new piece for a show jury, but wasn't pleased with my rushed attempt.
Then went back to work on this piece on Monday, March 9th.
I was very tired, pushing myself to paint each day.
I was lonely. The transitions from being with people to the solitary wilderness are getting harder to make.
I painted almost daily.
Then I would go out for a walk and cry for a few minutes almost daily, too. This was not normal.
It seemed extreme seclusion, working by myself, was seemingly my perpetual lot in life. I don't want to do it ANYMORE, I told myself.
While staying home to work and not going out may seem new for many, this has been my normal life for decades, with a few exceptions...
I don't have wifi where I stay, but no computer meant continuing to paint without listening to my loved sermons or being able to see the reference photo details on the computer monitor.
I had had a slightly enlarged color copy of the photo made, which I hadn't previously relied on because it was dark and fuzzy, but now was glad to have this visual to guide me.
Thankfully, I had already had time to lay a good detailed foundation for the finished piece.
The virus caused Vermont to lockdown March 25th. My kind brother arrived that afternoon, bringing me more food, funds and a tablet whereby to "touch the world", as the local library had closed.
Seeing email and being able to participate in some Zoom meetings made life much brighter.
But, for the first time in eleven years, I had had to ask my family for financial help to pay living expenses.
I am so grateful to HAVE family willing and able TO help me at this very difficult time in our world.
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| Detail, middle left |
Big Projects Are Like Marathons
Then I heard Donald Miller speak in two free writing webinars.
He talked about "the psychology of writing a book". He said, around half-way through a 50K-word book a writer often feels like they are having a nervous breakdown. And many writers fail to win the "mental part", so never complete their manuscript.
Really!
Well, this made me feel better. Applied to my own creation, I was now not "losing it", I was in what could just be a "normal" process of struggling to create.
There are always ups and downs in life, and paintings, large works especially, have a "life of their own".
You can perhaps see the finish line approaching, but it is just SO FAR AWAY!
"Hurrying it up a little" is a recipe for failure.
Slow and steady wins the race.
I am certain there is also a "Psychology of Painting a Large Painting".
My mother kindly sent me some excellent liquid nutrients, helping my brain and emotional health immensely, and I continued on. Malnutrition does not help one create.
I don't know that I could have finished without her timely help.
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| Detail, bottom right |
Hope is What Keeps us Persevering
I struggled with the thought, with the lockdown consequences, this painting would merely join the other NYC streetscenes I've previously painted in a storage box, hidden from view.
So why was I painting? To hide my work under a bushel?
What was I hoping for?
Did God care about it? Did He approve of how I was investing my time, when it looked like I was not really serving a real NEED?
People are out there dying, world-wide, and here I was painting ANOTHER painting.
Weren't there more important things to focus on?
The situation in a city whose people I deeply care about, New York City, became more serious as I continued to paint this scene, of 6th Avenue.
My heart and prayer for healing and provision of daily food goes out to all who continue to experience huge life change, loss and needs due to the lockdown and/or virus.
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I thought I'd be done painting by the first week of April. Then by April 12th, Resurrection Day. Now it is the end of April, and I am still finishing and making adjustments. I am posting with some small details still unfinished.
At this point, this piece has taken over 100 hours of focus, over ten weeks, spread-out through three months, not counting the needed time off in February.
My 3-day live teaching workshop near NYC, planned for the end of April, has been postponed due to the virus until Fall. Please contact me if you have interest in attending this workshop.
I am hoping to tape some beginners classes and put them online for those interested in learning to paint with watercolor soon.
Please know that I greatly appreciate my many collectors, worldwide, as well as my blog readers and students.
My blog continues to be read around the world, almost 1,000 views every month. This amazes me! Thank you for reading, friends!
Please let me know how I may help your painting and/or your spiritual journeys.
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Being an artist, for me, means I contribute visual pictures of beauty, peace, order and life - to counter the ugly unrest of chaos and death we each experience and have to deal with in life.
Cityscapes are clearly not as "beautiful" as God's Creation...but they speak to me, of the people populating cities.
This piece reminds me strongly of Steve Green's song, "People Need the Lord", which I will add to the end of this post.
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| Detail, stoplight |
Maintaining Hope
"Hope" is defined in Webster's College Dictionary as "expect or look forward to, with desire or confidence".
My thesaurus says "see Trust".
Synonyms of being Hopeful are "confident, expectant, optimistic".
"Trust" is defined as "complete assurance and certitude regarding the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something."
I did have hope that this would become a strong, truthful painting, once completed.
The definitions remind me of Abraham in Romans 4:18-22:
"Who against hope believed in hope, that he might become the father of many nations, according to that which was spoken, So shall thy seed be. And being not weak in faith, he considered not his own body now dead, when he was about an hundred years old, neither yet the deadness of Sarah's womb: he staggered not at the promise of God through unbelief; but was strong in faith, giving glory to God; And being fully persuaded, that what He had promised, He was able also to perform. And therefore it was imputed to him as righteousness."
Romans 8:24-25:
"For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for? But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it."
And Romans 15:13:
"Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost."
Despite huge life changes, extra work, no work, unwanted losses and unexpected gains, may we each choose to trust and hope in our living Lord, Christ Jesus, who knows the end of Life's Story.
May you and I be found in Him, for this world is passing away.
I remain, with gratitude,
your painting-friend,
Elise
I must work the works of him that sent me,
while it is day:
while it is day:
the night cometh, when no man can work.
- John 9:4
