Visiting Fatherless and Widow

 Last November I heard a man speak about the number of orphaned children in the nation of India alone - over TWENTY MILLION!

Such an enormous number of children without the comfort and care of a parent…I began contemplating this but felt blocked about writing anything for months.

Then in December I began care giving for first one, and then in January two elderly widows. My ability to focus or have time to write a detailed blog post was pushed further back on the “shelf of life”.

I have felt in the center of Yah’s will, even as the serious health concerns of one woman became critical and while my level of decent sleep decreased.

My consistency and confidence as a blog writer has been a bit shattered but I’m going to write what I “have now” and post it. This “snowball” needs to overcome inertia!

The 18x24-inch (unframed size) watercolor painting illustrating this blog, titled Sheltered by Abundant Life, was created over six weeks last August through October, at the request of old friends who are starting an orphanage in the Dominican Republic. Those interested may donate to their heart-work encouraging fatherless children here: Friends of Sycamore House

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Our Father has a lot to say about protecting and caring for the fatherless and widow. I have a lot to say, too.

I was raised by my widowed mother from the age of 12.5, when my dad abandoned us. It would be twenty-five long years later before he called me on the phone.

Over many years of observation, I have realized that men and women who were raised with two attentive and emotionally-mature parents cannot understand what it feels like to be raised fatherless or by a single parent.

But our Father in heaven does know, and does care. The Holy Spirit has come and comforted my heart many times over the years of missing and grieving for my lost dad and the memory of his loved presence in my life.

The Living God became my true Father. He protected, provided, corrected and instructed me. He answered my questions. He gave me lessons. He spanked me when I disobeyed. He moved me to many different locations so I could meet those who would train and speak into my life.

Good books have appeared, and their authors became my teachers, sent from God, too.

A good father supports His children – physically as well as emotionally, verbally, spiritually and intellectually. Our Father in heaven does this for me. When I cry out for help, He lets me know He is there. He never leaves me.

I am never alone. I do not travel “by myself” – the Spirit of the Living Yah goes with me!

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Suffering in life is relative to your Perspective, your Love Language and your Expectations.

To some people, they feel they suffer great injustice when their freedoms or perceived blessings are curtailed. Others welcome these infringements, believing they are being protected and do not suffer at all!

Our Father saw the enormity of my grief and challenged me to choose Joy. It was my choice to believe Him.

One’s financial acumen is often taught by a father.

One’s personal power to achieve and stand up in the world is often taught by a father, too.

Confidence, taking risks, setting goals and other masculine qualities are gained when you have a father cheering you on.

Proverbs 17:6b tells us, the glory of children are their fathers. Most children love to talk about and praise their dad, if they have one.

There are no perfect earthly fathers. Everyone has character strengths and character weaknesses. When I was a child, I knew my dad was imperfect, but I loved him for all the great things he was.

The memories I have with my loved dad are precious. He taught me to swim, to play the piano, to cook and to enjoy working. He taught me to speak what is true, and he encouraged my faith in the LORD.

While I didn’t have a dad long, I’m grateful I had the exact dad I did have. And I don’t know what it’s like to not have a dad at all.

I have noticed that many of my close friends had dads who died or were killed when they were very young. A few of my friends never met or knew their real dad at all.

This is a sorrow most cannot grasp.

Because children learn by watching and then copying the body language of their role models, children raised by one parent or no parents struggle with a great disadvantage, socially and relationally.

It is my personal comprehension that when a child is wounded in any manner by a man, living solely with women doesn’t heal this wound. A kind man must heal it.

And when a child is wounded in some way by a woman, living around or being with men doesn’t heal this area; only being in relationship with a kind woman can heal that wound.

Sometimes we don’t realize how important the quality of our interactions with strangers really is! We could be another link in a chain of lies, and distrust, or through our gentle words, actions and attitudes, we can help others break free of wounds, hurts and lies - to heal and become whole again, in their innermost heart.

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My sister shared a Chuck Missler message with me a couple months ago. In it, Chuck shares about the Paleo Hebrew language. Each word has a three-letter root.

The letters of Hebrew carry the meaning, not just the sound!

The first letter of this alphabet, Aleph, is shaped like the head of a Bull. This letter means “First; “Strength”; or “Leader”.

The second Hebrew letter, Bet, was originally shaped like a Pyramid and represents a House, Home or Family.

An Aleph and Bet together means the “Leader of the House”. Who is the leader of the house? This word is their name for Father – “Ab”, “Abba, Father”!

Chuck said if you take a “Heh” – a letter looking like “H” - hands lifted up; or an open window - which is “a breath or spirit” and means the “essence of the Hebrew word”. Heh means “Behold”; “Revealed”; or “Breeze, Wind, Spirit”.

If you put a “Heh” in the word - “Ahab” - that gives you the Essence of the Father.

And what is the essence of our Father in heaven, whom we must worship in Spirit and Truth/Reality – in the seen and not-seen world?

This Hebrew word, “Ahab” means Love.

The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy:

I am come that they might have life,

and that they might have it more abundantly.

~ John 10:10

This painting depicts a Nigerian Sycamore Tree. There are several varieties of Sycamore trees, which are related to the Fig tree and bear fruit!

"The sycamore fig Ficus Sycomorus is native to the middle east and parts of Africa. The name sycomorus came from the Greek Syca-Morus Which means Mulberry fig. The leaves are similar in shape to mulberry and the fruit looks very similar to the common fig, except its smaller. The fruits grow on clusters attached to the bark."

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Sometimes it’s hard to realize you are blessed, when you don’t feel or see what you desire in life.

It took me awhile to realize I was blessed to have had the challenges I did as a child and young woman. They made me strong. My wounds gave me an understanding of my own and other's emotional pain.

When God says He is, "A father of the fatherless, and a judge of the widows, is God in his holy habitation” in Psalm 68:5, He is not joking!

“Judge” used here does not mean condemn, it basically means “to take care of”.

It is the same Strong’s Concordance word H1781,   דַּיָּן (dayyān) “judge” - defender or advocate - used in I Samuel 24:15:

The LORD therefore be judge, ^H1781 and judge between me and thee, and see, and plead my cause, and deliver me out of thine hand.

For many years I have been both Fatherless and a Widow.

Widows are generally thought to be someone who was once married but whose husband has either left or died. But “widow” also applies to unmarried women who have no man or father to care for, or protect them.

I remember how my sister’s life was saved from suicidal depression as a young woman, when she learned how God shows us in the Holy Bible how much He cares for the fatherless and widow.

Our heavenly Father takes especial care of those who don’t have fathers or husbands.

I have seen this in my own experience.

This is also shown in the accounts of :

·      Joseph – who was sold into slavery and removed from his physical father’s love.

·      Ruth and Naomi – widows in the book of Ruth.

·      Esther, whose uncle cared for her

·      Timothy, whose dad was Greek – but he was raised by his mother and grandmother

And the clear instruction to protect fatherless and widow is for all a huge call to responsibility and true religion!

Those who damage or take advantage of the fatherless or a widow in any way will one day have to face Yah.

We heard that a man who once stole wood from our woodlot then died very suddenly. It doesn’t pay to hurt or take advantage of either a stranger/immigrant, a widow or the fatherless!

Someone once told my mother, a few years after my dad left us, to “watch out for those who would take advantage of her”…”You’re too late, John,” she replied, “they already have.”

Many greedy men prey on those who are, for any reason – elderly or weak - unable to speak up for themselves.

They generally come under false pretenses, saying they want to “help you”. I know a widow who has pre-paid two different lawn mowers to mow her lawn – and they have both now disappeared, stolen her money and not come to mow her lawn,

It is interesting to me that God doesn’t say, “Visit the fatherless and widow, they might be having a hard time.” He presupposes they ARE in affliction, by virtue of their not having a father or man present to help them!

“Religion” is not a word used often in the Bible, so it is interesting how many people have given this term such a “bad name”, saying things like, “Religion is only about control, guilt and shame.” When really, this is what our Father says about pure, true Religion:

If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain. Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.

~ James 1:26-27

A man or woman’s Religion, or worship, is not revealed by talk, it is shown by your life! It is demonstrated by taking Action to meet felt Needs. Giving the gift of Presence, Visiting and Caring for those whose hearts are sad and lonely.

The Greek word “visit” is ἐπισκέπτομαι, or episkeptomai, Pronounced: “ep-ee-skep'-tom-ahee”. 

To visit means:

May our Father in heaven guide your steps in His way,

With love, your friend who is Loved by our Father,

Elise

Ye shall not afflict any widow, or fatherless child. 

If thou afflict them in any wise, and they cry at all unto me, 

I will surely hear their cry; And my wrath shall wax hot, 

and I will kill you with the sword; 

and your wives shall be widows, and your children fatherless.

~ Exodus 22:22-24

He doth execute the judgment of the fatherless and widow, 

and loveth the stranger, in giving him food and raiment.

~ Deuteronomy 10:18

And the Levite, (because he hath no part nor inheritance with thee,) and the stranger, and the fatherless, and the widow, which are within thy gates, shall come, and shall eat and be satisfied; that the LORD thy God may bless thee in all the work of thine hand which thou doest.

~ Deuteronomy 14:29

When thou cuttest down thine harvest in thy field,

 and hast forgot a sheaf in the field, 

thou shalt not go again to fetch it: 

it shall be for the stranger, for the fatherless, 

and for the widow: 

that the LORD thy God may bless thee 

in all the work of thine hands.

When thou beatest thine olive tree, 

thou shalt not go over the boughs again: 

it shall be for the stranger, for the fatherless, 

and for the widow.

When thou gatherest the grapes of thy vineyard,

 thou shalt not glean it afterward: 

it shall be for the stranger, 

for the fatherless, and for the widow.

~ Deuteronomy 24:19-21

Cursed be he that perverteth the judgment

of the stranger, fatherless, and widow.

And all the people shall say, Amein.

~ Deuteronomy 27:19

Because I delivered the poor that cried, and the fatherless, 

and him that had none to help him.

~ Job 29:12

(But from my youth the orphan grew up with me as with a father, 

And from my mother’s womb I have been the widow’s guide),

~ Job 31:18

Defend the poor and fatherless:

do justice to the afflicted and needy.

~ Psalm 82:3

The LORD preserveth the strangers;

he relieveth the fatherless and widow:

but the way of the wicked he turneth upside down.

~ Psalm 146:9

“Do you not know that God entrusted you with that money (all above what buys necessities for your families) to feed the hungry, to clothe the naked, to help the stranger, the widow, the fatherless; and, indeed, as far as it will go, to relieve the wants of all mankind? How can you, how dare you, defraud the Lord, by applying it to any other purpose?” 

~ John Wesley

Remove not the old landmark; 

and enter not into the fields of the fatherless: 

For their redeemer is mighty; 

he shall plead their cause with thee.

~ Proverbs 23:10-11

Bring no more vain oblations; incense is an abomination unto me; the new moons and sabbaths, the calling of assemblies, I cannot away with; it is iniquity, even the solemn meeting. Your new moons and your appointed feasts my soul hateth: they are a trouble unto me; I am weary to bear them. And when ye spread forth your hands, I will hide mine eyes from you: yea, when ye make many prayers, I will not hear: your hands are full of blood. Wash you, make you clean; put away the evil of your doings from before mine eyes; cease to do evil; Learn to do well; seek judgment, relieve the oppressed, judge the fatherless, plead for the widow. Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool. If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land: But if ye refuse and rebel, ye shall be devoured with the sword: for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it.

~ Isaiah 1:13-20

Woe unto them that decree unrighteous decrees, 

and that write grievousness which they have prescribed; 

To turn aside the needy from judgment,

and to take away the right from the poor of my people,

that widows may be their prey,

and that they may rob the fatherless!

And what will ye do in the day of visitation,

and in the desolation which shall come from far?

to whom will ye flee for help?

and where will ye leave your glory?

Without me they shall bow down under the prisoners,

and they shall fall under the slain.

For all this his anger is not turned away,

but his hand is stretched out still.

~ Isaiah 10:1-4

They are waxen fat, they shine: 

yea, they overpass the deeds of the wicked: 

they judge not the cause, the cause of the fatherless, 

yet they prosper; and the right of the needy do they not judge.

~ Jeremiah 5:28 

“You know how it is. You feel a little different because other people have two parents, even if they’re divorced. It’s like you grow up knowing that you’re missing something important that everyone else has, but you don’t know exactly what it is. I remember hearing my friends talking about how their fathers wouldn't let them stay out late or didn't like their boyfriends. It used to make me so angry because they didn't even realize what they had. Do you know what I mean?”

~ Nicholas Sparks, The Rescue

I haven't read this novel, but it conveys the truth of how most fatherless or motherless children feel ~ e

Thus saith the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, Amend your ways and your doings, and I will cause you to dwell in this place. Trust ye not in lying words, saying, The temple of the Lord, The temple of the Lord, The temple of the Lord, are these. For if ye thoroughly amend your ways and your doings; if ye thoroughly execute judgment between a man and his neighbour; If ye oppress not the stranger, the fatherless, and the widow, and shed not innocent blood in this place, neither walk after other gods to your hurt: Then will I cause you to dwell in this place, in the land that I gave to your fathers, for ever and ever.

~ Jeremiah 7:3-7

Thus saith the LORD; Execute ye judgment and righteousness, and deliver the spoiled out of the hand of the oppressor: and do no wrong, do no violence to the stranger, the fatherless, nor the widow, neither shed innocent blood in this place.

~Jeremiah 22:3

And the word of the LORD came unto Zechariah, saying, Thus speaketh the LORD of hosts, saying, Execute true judgment, and shew mercy and compassions every man to his brother: And oppress not the widow, nor the fatherless, the stranger, nor the poor; and let none of you imagine evil against his brother in your heart. But they refused to hearken, and pulled away the shoulder, and stopped their ears, that they should not hear. Yea, they made their hearts as an adamant stone, lest they should hear the law, and the words which the LORD of hosts hath sent in his spirit by the former prophets: therefore came a great wrath from the LORD of hosts. Therefore it is come to pass, that as he cried, and they would not hear; so they cried, and I would not hear, saith the LORD of hosts: But I scattered them with a whirlwind among all the nations whom they knew not. Thus the land was desolate after them, that no man passed through nor returned: for they laid the pleasant land desolate.

~ Zechariah 7:8-14

And I will come near to you to judgment; and I will be a swift witness against the sorcerers, and against the adulterers, and against false swearers, and against those that oppress the hireling in his wages, the widow, and the fatherless, and that turn aside the stranger from his right, and fear not me, saith the LORD of hosts.

~ Malachi 3:5

“My research continues to amaze and baffle me. As human beings, we are geniuses. What we didn’t get from the home, we find ways of getting elsewhere. It’s evident, then, when one looks at the stats we don’t have a teenage pregnancy problem and we don’t have a street gang problem. I will even suggest that we don’t have a drug and alcohol problem, nor do we have a crime problem rather, these are only the symptoms that we are experiencing, and the real problem is broken homes that result in broken lives.”

~ Drexel Deal

The Fight of My Life is Wrapped Up in My Father

When my father and my mother forsake me,

then the LORD will take me up.

~ Psalm 27:10

For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.

~ Romans 8:15-17

~ Timothy Keller, 

Counterfeit Gods: The Empty Promises of Money, Sex, and Power, and the Only Hope that Matters

 Hymn:

Dear Lord and Father of mankind,
Forgive our foolish ways;
Reclothe us in our rightful mind,
In purer lives thy service find,
In deeper reverence, praise,
In deeper reverence, praise.

In simple trust like theirs who heard,
Beside the Syrian sea,
The gracious calling of the Lord,
Let us, like them, without a word,
Rise up and follow thee,
Rise up and follow thee.

O sabbath rest by Galilee,
O calm of hills above,
Where Jesus knelt to share with thee
The silence of eternity,
Interpreted by love!
Interpreted by love!

Drop thy still dews of quietness,
Till all our strivings cease;
Take from our souls the strain and stress,
And let our ordered lives confess
The beauty of thy peace,
The beauty of thy peace.

Breathe through the heats of our desire
Thy coolness and thy balm;
Let sense be dumb, let flesh retire;
Speak through the earthquake, wind, and fire,
O still, small voice of calm.
O still, small voice of calm.

~ John Greenleaf Whittier, circa 1872